Something you shouldn’t do with your life

is exactly what I am doing.

After having spent most of my Saturday off on the net searching for a new pair of headphones, I have found the ones. Now, this might sound as if I wasnt doing anything with my life, and it would really be true.

Revision time is a tough time when each one of us hides in our own bubble and spend our free time doing different things. I have refused to take my suitcase to where it belongs still and it is sitting right next to me trying to remind me of the times to come. Also, the post-its around my windows are telling me to do work as it is good for me. I have chosen to check Twitter, Facebook and any other site till the need to do work is as high as my feeling of guilt.

For the moment just wanted to share this with the outside world. I do hope you are still out there, as I can see everything just the same from my room, but you never know these days.

20 Things I Want to Do before I Die

I thought I should cheer myself up by thinking of all those things that for me are mindblowing. So, it’ll start easy by choosing 20 :

1. Go on a horse ride along some romantic park. Not literally on a horse ride but on a carriage. This has to be with a beloved one. I am specific about it.
2. Be able to play and sing a full song “beautifully” to a small crowd. I could sing and play with the guitar anything anyhow, but the point is that it has to sound nice
3. Find a job that I feel comfortable in, that can sustain me and that allows me to get some present or another on particular occasions.
4. Have a family of my own.
5. Get married. In my particular case this is a rather symbolic. Having had a disfunctional family and having felt a bit out of the picture all of my life, I have always dreamt about a day when I can splash out and be all about myself. Being an only child is not as fun as it seems if you dont have anyone to spoil you.
6. Revisit all of those feelings and get over them.
7. Live and work in another continent.
8. Make up my mind about the different religions in the world
9. Relearning French and learning a bit of Dutch.
10. Get a tattoo
11. Live next to the sea and never underestimate it!
12. Have a marvellous cat! and maybe a dog! I’ve been hoping to do this for years now!
13. Have a unique house, designed with my help and built with my supervision.
    
14. Live in a house with very high ceilings and big big windows! And have a super elegant room only for myself to chill.
15. Also, I’ve always dreamt of having a walk in wardrobe!
    
16. Have bilingual (at least) children.
17. Ride my bike to work.
18. I do never want to forget what it feels like to be young, and what it felt like to be on Erasmus.
19. I want to learn how to cook properly
20. I want to be happy
    

It feels good to think of the future

Revolutionary Road (spoilers)

There are many things I could say about it so… Firstly I shall say that it should be watched before, after or when you are having some type of treat. I would advice popcorn, for its proximity, taken the context…

Harsh film, good acting, nice setting and common, oh so common, theme. Usually saying common theme would make you think it deals with something seen too often and thinking of Leo and Kate’s very well known film it would be misleading to say so. “Choices in life”, a common theme in each of our heads. Frustrating oneself, getting up again, confronting the decision and do our best is, on average, what we do every single day. It is on average what people my age spend mind doing hour after hour.

It is to a certain degree funny how art is supposed to move us and make us react (and offers no solution, as there is none). Kate’s character definitely makes your head spin thinking, presumably, of your own issues and decisions in life as her fight continues. As the film keeps going you feel more and more empathetic towards her, but to no good end. Her death symbolizes to me the realisation of the continuous loop of emptiness and acceptance of it by most areas of society.

Even if we live in a time of crisis, the ideals set by a few still rule the majority. I am in no position to critize myself. I simply want to say out loud, though, that even if I feel constrained to be the Dicaprio of my life at this time, I wish some day I have the courage to be the Winslet I (as everyone else) have inside.

As I learned some time ago: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”

LA ESTACIÓN

Esa estación que siempre me ve, qué dirá.
Entro mano a maleta, dos extensiones de mí que en menos de un metro encierran mis ilusiones.
Paso tembloroso, latido firme, vista baja y ánimo perdido.
Entro y mi paso es fuerte, como si al andar fuerte mis esperanzas fueran a cumplirse mas rápido.
Mi corazón va rapido, le pido que me espere pero no hay nada que hacer. Cuando la estación me ve mi corazón no puede esperar.
Vista baja, estoy concentrada y mis ojos no quieren mirar sin ver lo que espero.

Ánimo perdido ambas veces.

Al entrar mi ánimo está como perdido por las emociones que está viviendo.Pienso: porqué he de dejar esto
siempre que le quiero ver, pero lo hago porque así soy yo, y eso es lo que necesito.

Las estaciones son los templos donde mi corazón anida y despierta.

Cuando salgo recojo mi corazon allí, que es donde todo empieza.

Vuelvo y le dejo en la estación, sin que lo sepa, mis sentimientos en una esquina, sin que molesten, pero no me los puedo llevar,
que pesan mucho y yo solo me puedo tener a mi.

La mayoría de las veces la gente en la estación no existe. Cuando estoy ahí puedo llorar, puedo sonreir, reirme, caerme, ¡lo que sea!
porque ahi no hay nadie mas que yo y las dimensiones que mis sentimientos desbocados quieran adquirir.

PARA TI, QUE SABRÍAS QUIÉN ERES SI ME PUDIERAS ENTENDER.

The Simple Pleasures

I remember being in class last year. It was a room with really high ceiling and a sort of sculpture in the middle of it. It was all very classy, the typical white women bodies. The door could have handled an elephant getting in or out. THe windows were so big, i was getting used to seeing windows so big, that it looked as if they wanted me to feel reassured of how similar we all are…

I sometimes take some time off to remember and think of the crystal like sound i used to hear from that room. It sounded as if some metals were being shaken about against some glass. The sound used to make me smile, and think of some other feelings that could take me to.

It was all so honest. It was all so clear. It was the ultimate feeling of freedom, the breeze in your hair, the rain on your face, the drops falling of your chin, but still, the humming coming out of my mouth. It was fine, whether it rained, whether it snowed, i just jump on my bike and make it all go away.

I could ride it with my eyes closed, i knew my way so well. I could doubt how to go somewhere, discovering new ways. I could use no hands. it could be me and someone else. it could be me and my friend next to me. Everything was safe.

Those moments, when I could ride that gorgeous bike I was someone else. It didnt matter what when or how, but that made me happy as nothing else does. Those minutes per day when I could be that humble and simple person on the bike, enjoying the simple pleasures of my everyday life.

Time to Pretend? No, Time to Change

At the age of 21 I own around 250 books to say the least. My family and friends also own a fair number of books, but we are apparently living in more of a primitive world than our friends from the States or even our European colleagues, the British.

During the twentieth century the industry of books, or rather the industry of commercial books, made the very old book become part of an exciting experience. Most of us have had the pleasure of experiencing the Big Bookshop Experience. To the Spanish audience, I should probably explain.

It is not only on tv where people get into humongous bookshops, similar to those modest shopping centers of only 4 or 5 floors, and wish to lose identity to gain the imperturbable blank face of that person following the mass flow. It is certainly one of the most appealing places to go to for a person coming from a small city like me, but it is just one of the ‘advances’ of the modern cities, like London. As you open the doors of the desired place, a feeling of overwhelming well-being overcomes you. It is quite a feeling, I’m telling you! Coming from the rain outside, the coming and going of people, suddenly carpet in the floor! –if you are lucky, of course- and a quiet corner of the world opens up.

Once there, it is a difficult choice whether to pretend to actually look for some book in particular or some department. Most of us just walk around it pretending, once again, to be too unspecified as to being able to check one department only. Before even starting to think of what I want to buy, the simple coolness of standing in it makes you proud of yourself already.

A book, 15 pounds and 3 floors later, it’s the ‘what the hell I’m having a coffee’ moment. Your mind has got into such a peaceful stage after looking at all the discounts coming from heaven –called usually ‘the marketing people’-, that a cup of tea is granted!

Some would say it is a topic, but when you get your well-deserved tea and cookie, choose your wooden table and sit down, there is a big change you will overhear a conversation that you are most likely not to understand. This is not because of it not being in your language, yeah could be, but because after all you are there just for the fun of the experience rather than the bunch of friends discussing more intelligent sounding topics.

Why would anyone even think of taking this experience from us? I know the digital book, the deeply loved and hated Kindle and all of his friends are very exciting to start off, but do not deprive me of these moments.

A quien yo sea,

Deja de perseguirme y meterme prisa.

do NOT trust any of them

The Aliens
 

  you may not believe it
but there are people
who go through life with
very little
friction or
distress.
they dress well, eat
well, sleep well.
they are contented with
their family
life.
they have moments of
grief
but all in all
they are undisturbed
and often feel
very good.
and when they die
it is an easy
death, usually in their
sleep.

Charles Bukowski

I will never be one of them. There is more to life than all that, and efforts and disstress makes half of my life what it is. Even when, like now, I have no clue of what the future has to offer me, I still think it is something we all need to feel to appreciate stability. Obvious.

Revísate,

A veces dejamos pasar el tiempo sin hacer nada sobre cuestiones que obviamente nos perturban,

a mí me pasa constantemente,

pero hay días en los que necesito parar y quedar en paz con mi pasado.

Hoy sin ninguna razón, y fuera de contexto, voy a mirar atrás y escuchar una canción que me lleve a los maravillosos años

en los que yo no tendría más de 6 años pero en los que todavía tenía a esa mujer a mi lado que me cantaba.

Un día podía ser los Beatles, o UB40, o Radio Futura, Jimi Hendrix,

y reconozco que se estaba muy bien en la conformidad de sus palabras, y el calor de unos brazos familiares.

Una crece pero lo que mueve rios, y lo que acoge mas de 9 años de mi vida no se esfuma jamás.

Ya no me levanto el domingo para ir a hacer nada con ella,

ni paso el día haciéndole un regalo,

pero sigo escuchando las mismas canciones.

How we develop…

 First Dakota by Stereophonics

Now It Means Nothing by Stereophonics

And yeah, this blog is about art, it is about you and me too because all we are when we are together is beautiful.